


we are what we are

by transvav



Series: and we could be [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Immortal FAHC, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, Reincarnation AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 21:53:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13327116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transvav/pseuds/transvav
Summary: (but we don't have to be)somewhere, in another life, he is taken from them.(a spin-off)





	we are what we are

**Author's Note:**

> back on my bullshit.

if the world had not been kind, gavin free would have stayed dead. in what they know, he did not. barely. barely.

but consider the multiverse theory. the idea that with every choice we make, another universe grows like a hydra head from the path we rejected to take. perhaps, somewhere, there is a universe where gavin was never even reborn as anyone else, like the rest. existing forever as gavin, just gavin, no one more, no other name to call his own.

and yet perhaps there exists a world where gavin does not wake up-

at least, not as gavin free.

 

there is a gunshot, and a phone call, and the empty warehouse on the edge of the city, and then he’s in a mansion in britain again, in a crib made of what might be _opal_ , with a silver spoon to be fed from.

his name, he finds, is now sabrina. he is born with the same, muddled green eyes, the same tanned skin- a stroke of luck- but his hair is dark and thick, and his face and body are that of a feminine sort. before, this wouldn’t _bother_ him in the way it does now. as elizabeth he’d never really dealt with it, but even in his later years, as grace and as taylor, it hasn’t been such a deal as it is now. this is _wrong_ , to him, and he knows from the moment he can open his mouth that he has to change.

late in the night he asks whatever deity has given him this why. the voice tells him, in his sleep, that it had to be sure. _if you can find them again,_ it says, _if you can go back, i will not take you from them._

when he wakes up, he remembers, and goes downstairs to talk to his mother about being someone other than sabrina. thankfully, she is kind.

even _more_ thankfully, she’s rich‒ so they can afford the doctors, and the therapist especially. he’s a kind man, and at one point, he asks how gavin is so sure.

“in another life,” gavin says with strength in a voice that isn’t _his_ , “i was happier. and in that other life, i was someone else, and he wasn’t _female_. i miss that life. i miss feeling like myself, i miss being _me_. this isn’t me. this isn’t _home_.”

he gets his hormones, eventually. he breaks his nose and makes sure it doesn’t heal quite right _just_ because he needs to, because it is a part of him. at fifteen, he makes deals, at 16, he’s on the computer, and at 20 he has a bag packed and prepared. quietly, he wonders if they will have stayed. he can’t dwell on it, though, so he thanks his mother and kisses her goodbye, and boards a plane to los santos.

 

things change, in 20 years, but not always. crime tends to stay relatively the same. and in that way, los santos does not change either.

as far as he can tell, though, it’s the _roosters_ now in charge. so he does what he can to get on _someone’s_ radar‒ as much as possible without getting caught, because he can’t afford to _lose_ them again, not without one more life, not without one more chance.

his hair grows out as he focuses more on _finding_ them, but he buys bleach anyways, keeps it a dirty blonde as best he can. the hormones give him a beard. it’s _nice_. he lives in a one bedroom shithole for cheap, despite his mother’s funding. it’s mostly used on computer supplies‒ on upgrading and building and _upgrading‒_ he does buy a motorcycle, though, because he can’t get around on a bus for forever.

but then again, it might not be for _forever_. maybe someday, michael will drive him places again. maybe someday jack with fly with him. maybe someday. he holds on to hope.

 

eventually, he finds burnie again.

gavin knows who burnie is. burnie doesn’t seem to catch on who gavin is. he wants to ask about geoff and the others, but some part of him insists to look on his own‒ asking seems too easy. it’s all online, of course, because this time, gavin makes himself out to be a hacker, a little genius, because digital security measures only grow with time.

it has been five years since gavin has come to los santos.

burnie hires him, constantly, and gavin is grateful for the extra money, but rejects the chance to join the crew. he _has_ one, he insists. he just has to find them again, he thinks.

he tells burnie to call him phoenix. it’s fitting to him.

 

eventually, burnie calls him. begs him for help. a friend of his needs a hacker, badly, and gavin is the only one he knows. gavin relents, because if nothing else, burnie has been good to him.

he takes the chance he is given.

he meets burnie at the pier, wrapped in a dark jacket to protect himself from the heavy rain. he quietly asks about the crew, hopes to himself that burnie doesn’t notice anything familiar. he doesn’t seem too, but he shrugs.

“the boss is meeting us here,” he says. “they plan to take you to their base up in achievement city, for protection.”

“is this him?” a voice calls out, and as burnie turns to answer he doesn’t seem to notice gavin’s heart stopping in his chest.

there is warmth in hearing the voice of a loved one, a natural healing power that washes over like a blanket, curls and tucks and worms to parts of a person long since thought to be permanently broken. that power is amplified tens of times, hundreds of times, if there is longer intervals between it, like a hole in a heart that is suddenly fixed by the sound of someone you _trust_.

gavin, as slowly as he can, turns around, and tugs his hood off, just as burnie says, “this is‒”

“ _gavin_ ,” geoff gasps, and burnie turns in confusion to where gavin should be standing, but he’s already _running_ , dashing, hopeful, please, _please_ , let this be real.

he collapses into his father’s arms and _sobs_. geoff is crying too, as he does, and they’re in the rain and crying and it’s so, so nice.

 

at the penthouse in achievement city, gavin is held as close to each of them as possible. they tell him, too‒ every agonizing moment after his death, how his ashes are spread on the top of mount chiliad, how there have been moments they call for him to find he isn’t there.

jack brushes his hair and promises him anything, holding his hand. “don’t you forget,” she whispers. “that we aren’t _mad_. we’re anything but. you sure take your time getting back to us, but in the end, you do come back to us. none of us will ever be mad at you for that.”

jeremy and michael are curled at his feet. jeremy smiles up at him warmly. “there’s no laughter without you here,” he says. “it’s a lot emptier, and even though we know you’re gone, it’s like we can’t find out what’s missing.”

michael pinches the underside of his knee and grins. “i’m glad you’re back, boi,” he says as sincere as ever. “we’re brothers and i’d do anything to keep you safe, you hear me? so stop getting fucking _hurt_.”

ryan is humming the song that played the night they first kissed. he’s been silent since his death. this is the most they’ve heard from him in twenty five years.

geoff comes out of the kitchen and wraps gavin’s hands around a necklace‒ one from years and years past, from when he was simply elizabeth. “this is yours,” he tells him. “it always has been. i hope it’s enough to keep you tied to us again.”

gavin falls asleep with them curled around him, protectively, securing him into place. in his dreams he hears nothing, but knows, in some way, that the voice has relented and agreed that this is it, for him.

 

and he is finally safe at home with them.

for the rest of all of their forevers.

**Author's Note:**

> my [tumblr](http://transvav.tumblr.com)  
> anyways


End file.
